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Welcome to TV Ad Center
TV Ad Center is an archive of television advertisements, with text descriptions and transcripts.
IRS Tax Relief with Tax Masters
A robust red-headed bearded man is speaking to us hurriedly against a dark red background. The Tax Masters logo is to his right with the slogan, "We solve your tax problems." under it. As he speaks, the words appear next to him as well. Under the main image is a banner that has the website address www.txmstr.com and the phone number 1-877-469-4568.
The fast-talking man with a red beard asks us, "Are you being audited?" then "Have you not filed tax returns for years?" then "Has the IRS come to your home or place of business?" He goes on to say, "The IRS will relentlessly pursue your for unpaid taxes."
He then introduces himself as Patrick R. Cox Founder of Tax Masters. "I'm Patrick Cox, found of Tax Masters." He goes on to tell us, "The former IRS agents and tax professionals as Tax Masters will solve your tax problems. We'll get between you and the IRS. We'll make sure they treat you fairly and treat you with respect." While he's saying this, you can just barely see some small print appear in a light color that says, "Tax Masters is not a Law or CPA firm. TaxMasters is a Professional Tax Services firm."
"Don't wait weeks for an appointement. Call today. We'll get started today. Call 1-877-469-4568." We see the Tax Masters logo and the phone number and web addres in large print across the screen now. Also, it says, "TAXMASTESR IS A PUBLICLY TRADED COMPANY, TRADING SYMBOL: TAXS" Finally, he says, "Tax Mastesr, we solve your tax problems."
We see a man in a hard hat at a big muddy logging site. He says, "Hey, Tony, pick it up! I want this whole row finished." We see Tony (played by Richard Lewis) with a huge chainsaw standing by a lot of very large logs. He says, "You know, I'm just not feeling the wood cutting thing today. ehhhh, I don't know." He puts the giant chainsaw down.
The foreman hold out his arms asking, "Are you done?" Tony responds, "What is the rush here? Is there like a worldwide shortage of gazebos?" A new bearded guy walks up to Tony and holds out a Snickers bar. He says, "Tony, eat a snickers." Tony responds, "Why?" The bearded guys says, "Because you get a little whiny when you're hungry." Tony unwraps the Snickers bar and takes a big bite of it. The bearded guy then asks, "Better?"
Tony is now a burly dude with a robust beard (definitely not Richard Lewis anymore). He finishes chewing the piece of Snickers in his mouth and responds, "Better." in a deep voice.
Next we hear a whiny voice yell, "Hey my back hurts!" It's Roseanne Barr!" A huge log come along and knock her down hard to the ground. Close-up on Roseanne and she says, "Now my front hurts!"
We see and hear, "You're not you when you're hungry." Then a shot of a Snickers bar snapping open to show guet caramel. The Snickers log is shown and the word "SATISFIES" also, snickers.com .
Bridgestone Reply All
We see a guy in a blue shirt at work smiling as he types into his computer. We hear a noise (likely, the "you've got mail" chime). And a guy bheind him with a moustahce at his computer says, "Oh no, Rod you sent this email reply all. You hit reply all." Rod, the guy in the blue shirt who sent the email freaks out. We see him run down the hall along the other office cubicles, screaming. Next, he's in his car at the wheel driving and still yelling. A quick shot shows a close-up of his tire squealing.
Next we see Rod in a fancy conference room. He's grabbing all the boss's laptops, still screaming. Another shot of a zooming car wheel against the pavement. Rod grabs a couple more laptops. A woman in her home by a window and another guy with a smart phone walking through a parking garage. Lots of quick shots now of Rod screaming and taking whole computers down a ladder from a house and slapping down mobile phones. He's shown in a dinner pushing a pot of coffee onto anoter guys laptop (we see sparks fly, it's fried). Another close-up shot of his car's tire going trough some puddles at high speed. He grabs a phone from a guy in the woods with a big back pack. We here him say, "gimme" and see the words, "Do not attempt" in the lower part of the screen.
He's shown, still yelling, dropping from a tree on to a guy on a park bench with laptop. Then, running on a sidewalk with a various computer parts, some falling to the ground as he goes. He walks into some sort of network center with huge bumdles of colored wires plugged it banks of electronics. He yanks a bug bundle out. We see his car zooming around again, nice tires! The tires chirp as he comes to a stop. We see him slide back into his original office seat as if nothing happened.
The coworker with the moustache says, "You know, I was wrong. You just sent this email to me. Could you imagine. Ha ha" The both laugh. Then Rod gets a desperate look on his face. An announcer says, "For drivers who want to get the most out of their cars, it's Bridgestone or nothing." We see the Bridgestone logo with "Official Tire of the NFL" and "See the extended version at bridgestone.com/superbowl"
Audi A8 Release the Hounds
We're shown a panning shot of wealthy people in a posh setting. The first is working on a ship in a bottle. The next is snoozing. But, then as we pan back, we see they are behind bars. They are jailed. As we pan over to the next cell, we see one of them trying to pick the lock on their door. He succeeds and say, "We're breaking out, lets go." His cellmate is eating a cracker but quickly gets up and says, "I'll get the dodo." A taxidermy dodo bird is grabbed. The run down along the lines of cells, the other rich people cheer them on by clinking champagne glasses and the like. A posh woman with a skin mask on her face says, "Scandalous!"
A wide shot shows them running through a large area of many cells. This prison is large. A fat guard watches them on a video monitor then looks back and says, "Warden, two boys going for a stroll." The warden talking into an old-timey telephone says, "Release the hounds" in a deep voice. We see another guard press a button. A low door opens and several long haired dogs rush out. There are various shots showing the 2 escaped rich guys running and being chased by the dogs. A barred door is shown slowly falling. The stuffed dodo bird is thrust under and they both slide just under the door. Next one of them vaults up and through the small window above a door. The next one comes through less gracefully, falling on his back and saying, "My spleen!"
The chubby guard is shown again by the bank of video security cameras. He says, "Now what, it didn't work." The warden still on the phone says, "Hit them with the Kenny G." We hear Kenny G. music and the the revolting rich people in their cells immediately calm down. One of the escapees says, "Oh, I love this song!" But, the other says, "focus" and grabs him to keep going. They are then shown repelling down the outside of the prison on a makeshift rope. The fall and jump to the ground. A chauffeur is shown holding the door open on a Mercedes sedan. One of the escapees heads for it but the other says, "Lancaster, no! It's a trap!" Lancaster responds, "Nonsense, my father owned one." He gets in but the other escaped rich guy jumps into an Audi A8. The two cars drive off in different directions. The white Mercedes drives back into the "Prison Reception" area as a gate closed behind it. Lancasters says, "My goodness, I've been hoodwinked." The smart guy in the Audi a8 drives away from the prison for rich people.
We see, "Escape the confines of old luxury." in white letters against black. Then, a shot of the A8 driving along a road under a suspension bridge. The next screen shows, "The new Audi A8 is here." and "Luxury has progressed." A red light flashes and we see the Audi logo with the words, "Truth in Engineering".
A final shot shows Lancaster back in his cell with the real Kenny G play his saxaphone right in front of him. Lancastes hums and dances along to the tune.
Bud Light Severance Package
We see a mixed group of white-collar works sitting around a table in a break room. One of them asks, "Did you guys hear they let Gary go?". One of them responds, "No way, really?" Another says, "What?" The first guy responds, "Yeah, bot for his severance package they gave him a case of Bud Light." He points and we see someone passed a blue case of Bud Light beer, wanting away happy. The workers at the break table all look on in silence. Then, one of them says, "Here we go..." The people around the break table suddenly scatter to the four winds.
We're now shown a series of shots showing various people acting very immaturely, all with the intention of getting fired so that they too can get a free case of Bud Light.
The first scene shows a boss working at his computer as a shouting naked guy marches behind him. The Boss looks up confused. Next we see a guy playing a set of drums in the middle of some cubicles while other coworkers cover their ears. Another scene shows a worked with the boss by the elevator. As the boss gets on, we see a paper with "I'm a jackweed" written on it taped to the bosses back. Now, a guy is riding a motorcycle through the office. In close-up we see it's the guy from the first scene. He yells, "Kiss my ...*bleep* *bleep*"
In another fresh scene we see someone playing golf by his desk. A green mat is rolled out with golf balls and several gold clubs. He swings hard and we see another guy get hit by the golf ball and fall down over a cart. The golfer asks for another ball. He's not stopping. And, just to push things even further, we see one of them leaving his bosses office just as the boss comes in. He tells the boss, "You might want to give it a minute in there." The boss walks in a quickly reacts to a bad smell coming from his waste basket.
There's a series of quick shots. A woman riding an ostrich. Someone using a jackhammer. We see papers flying around everywhere. The naked guy is still hanging around. A woman smashes some office equipment. The boss looks at them all and says, "You're fired." and the guy from the first scene is shown doing a arm pump and saying, "Yes!" He's got a big smile on his face.
An announcer says, "It's the sure sign of a good time. The just right taste of Bud Light. Here we go." and we're shown a splash shot of Bud Light bottles and icy water.
The final shot shows the original people back at the work table, now looking more relaxed. Cases of Bud Light are placed around them and they each have one in their hand. One of them says, "We should probably go home now." The rest say, "yeah" nearly all at once.
The camera pans across an idyllic storybook-like mansion with glowing yellow windows and a flowing water fountain in front. We zoom toward and into a balcony window to a large dinning room table full of food with candelabras. A womans voice says, "Goodnight gluttony" as the candles are blown out and wisps of smoke curl about them. We hear, "A farewell long awaited." As the camera pans through the ceiling and into a room with a woman in a mink stole and long gloves rests on a day bed. "Goodnight expected", the mink yawns. "Goodnight outdated" is heard as a fox and hound lamp is switched off by the animated hunter. We then fly into an air vent.
A poodle in a tiara is shown on a large padded bed, a number of sparkling tiaras are display on a table near by. We heard "goodnight fluffy" as we move toward the door and through its keyhole. We fly past a man dressed in formal clothes and a pile of cuff links. "Goodnight stuffy". One cuff link falls to the ground in slow motion, landing on the rug where a few more cuff links are. The camera now descends under the floor. We see a mouse on an ornate cushion eating some cheese with a cuff link nearby. The pan down past a large crystal chandelier. "Goodnight old luxury and all of your wares." We move out of this fancy house and toward the front. We hear, "Goodnight bygones everywhere" as we come in close to an Audi car.
New scene, the front of an Audi with a large grill. We hear the engine turn on and vroom as we fly into the grill. We see a futuristic dashboard open up as we are now inside the Audi. The voice says, "Good morning illumination." We see various shots of unusual Audi interior features as the voice now says, "Good morning innovation." We shift to an external shot of the car an the voice saying, "Good morning unequaled inspiration."
Finally, white text on black background, "The new Audi A8 is here. Luxury has progressed." A red light flashes and we see the Audi logo with the words, "Truth in Engineering".
Coca Cola Border Open Happiness
We see two men dressed in different uniforms walking along either side of a gate. It appears to be some sort of border between two hostile countries perhaps. The march next to each other in different directions. In the background we see a vast srub desert against some small hills. A thinner soldier in an orange tunic turns to face the fatter soldier in blue. Their uniforms look overly ornate and dated. The look at each other with disdain and perhaps hatred. A small piece of paper floats past in the wind. The man in blue pokes it with his sword and tosses it away in distaste. The march past each other, moving toward their respective guard shacks.
We see the man in orange take a Coca-Cola bottle from a cooler and take a long satisfying drink from it. The man in blue looks back with an expression of envy and longing. The man in orange looks at him with uncertainly, but the hate appears to be gone. Perhaps he could share his coke with this man. He grabs the last Coca-Cola bottle from the ice-filled cooler and walks back toward the other guard and the gate. He holds the bottle out, but both men now seem very hesitant to make another move. Neither is willing to cross the border line. The man in blue looks around a bit and puts his hand out tentatively. We seen a shot from above, showing each man's hand on their side, unwilling to cross the line. This time the man in orange looks both ways and finally puts the bottle on the ground by his feet. He then draws his sword dramatically and makes a semi-circle around the bottle, indicating a slight adjustment in the border to allow the man in blue to acquire the bottle.
The man in blue uses the toe of his boot to erase the border line, thus completing the illusion of the semi-circular line being the new border. He bends down slowly and takes the bottle. The both drink their cokes triumphantly, enjoying themselves. They look at each other, but as they do their expression return to a more stern look. They resume marching in opposite directions along the border.
Finally, we see a red Coca-Cola bottle spinning against a white background. It stop and we see "OPEN HAPPINESS" next to it.
Pepsi MAX® - Torpedo Cooler
We're shown a scene of a mellow summer BBQ party. Some people are sitting in chairs. There is a cooler and someone at a grill. A clust of three preppie-looking guys in pastel shirts is standing to the right. The one in green turns and call out, "Hey Werner!" We see a shot of a guy in a chair, Werner looking up. The green shirt preppie says, "Catch!" as he pretends to throw a soda to Werner. Werner jumps to catch, then realizes it was a trick. "Whoops! Maybe next time buddy." says the green shirt guy as the two other guys laugh.
Werner is then shown pressing a Pepsi button from his chair. The cooler open and is light from the inside. We see lots of Pepsi cans inside. One of the cans is shot out of the cooler at very high speed. We're shown a shot of the can in-flight. It is new Pepsi Max (black with red white and blue). A cool guy in a grey shirt and sunglasses catches the can and opens it one-handed, givin it to Werner as he says, "Pepsi Max?" Werner says, "Whoa! Pepsi Max huh?" The cool dude then say, "All the Pepsi flavor, none of the calories." Werner take a big gulp and smiles; "Ah!" he says.
The annoying dude in green then say, "What's up ladies. Can I get some love?" holding his arms up and gesturing toward a group of women who don't seem interested. Werner pressed the Pepsi button again. The cooler opens and another Pepsi Max can is fired out of it. The can hits the guy in a green shirt, right in the groin. We see him bend over from the pain and says, "Sweey mother!". Another can hit him in the forehead and he goes down. His two friends seem upset.
Rock music comes on as we see a Pepsi Max can against a dark banckground and the words "ZERO calories" then "MAXIMUM PEPSI TASTE".
Pepsi MAX Love Hurts
We see a mature black couple at a table in a restaurant. The man is speaking to the waiter. "I'll have the french fries..." The woman kicks him under the table and he changes order to a "fruit cup". The woman smiles.
Next scene, the same man is bending over a creme pie holding a fork. His wife comes by and pushes his head down into the pie plate. Pie in the face! We hear the fork drop.
The husband is now shown behind the shower curtain eating what appears to be a fast food hamburger out of a paper bag. He looks happy. As is goes to put the burger into his mouth, we see the woman's arms as she pulls the shower curtain back and swaps the hamburder for a bar of soap. The man is left with soap in his mouth.
Finally, we see the man on a bench in the park cracking open a can of soda. He takes a drink. The can is dark with a Pepsi logo visible. He tilts his head back, enjoing his delicious beverage. The wife now shows up and it looks like she may take it away from him. He give her a look of fear, but she smiles and we see she has her own can of Pepsi MAX. She's smiling now too. The man say, "Hey, I thought..." as we see a close up of the Pepsi MAX can and it says, "Zero Calories". The wife says, "Pepsi Max, zero calories." The man is shown looking at the can as he looks up saying, "Maximum taste." A young blond girl jogs by him and he looks at her. She sits on the bench next to him, smiles and waves. He smiles back, but we see his wife looking angry behind him. The wife throws her can at her husband, but her husband is wise to her ways and manages to duck out of the way just in time. The can instead hits the young blong jogger girl and knows her off the bench. The man turns to his wife shaking his finger. The wife is open-mouthed, eyes wide. He grabs her hand and they run away, leaving the poor blond jogger girl rolling around on the ground. The wife says, "Sorry, sorry" as they run past and we see the "Pepsi MAX zero calories" logo.
Hyundai Elantra: Car Wash
We see a close-up of a spray nozel as it comes on and sprays water. A metal play shifts and clanks as it falls down into position, releasing a car's tire which is on a roller. We start moving forward, seeing the view from inside the car. We are inside a car with a couple moving through the car wash. A sign moving past us reads, "DO NOT QUESTION YOUR CAR COMPANY". Water sprays a window to reveal the word "CONFORM". As we move further forward into the car wash, the hanging red and blue striped rubber reads "ACCEPT LESS". Now deep within the car wash with soap suds densely covering the car, we see, "OBEY" on the windshield, etched out of soap. We see the words "small", "practical", then "dull" in various locations. A car wash attendant hovers and we see "Boring is", then "Sexy", then "comply".
There are then a series of white against flashes of black letters saying, "HAVE", "OUR", "BRAINS", "BEEN", "CARWASHED?". The car stops with a slight jolt. We see the young couple inside, emotionless. Another white screen says "SNAP OUT OF IT." and we see a rotating view of a red Hyundai Elantra as an announcer (Jeff Bridges) says, "Fight the compact car conspiracy. The 40-MPG ELANTRA from Hyundai." (the same words are shown on screen). The the words "THING ABOUT IT." In small text it reads, "2011 Elantra 29 City/40 Hwy. EPA Estimates. Actual mileage may vary." The Hyundai logo is shown with CompactConspiracy.com under it.